Web Bums, Beggars and DeadbeatsA rant.
OK, so I lied.
I promised we’d dive into the process of turning a prospect or a client into a partner today. But something’s gotten under my skin and frankly, until I get this off my chest, I’m not going to be any good to you or anybody else.
The good news is this new format lets me publish any doggone time I want to. So this week, you get two doses of Makepeace: This one, plus a post on Thursday in which – my hand to God – I’ll walk you through the process of your first meeting with a prospective partner.
We cool? Cool.
So here’s the deal …
Last week, my 14-year-old genius daughter was invited to spend part of her summer across the pond in an extended studies program at Oxford University. So I figured The Redhead and I would just ship our Harleys to London, fly over with her, then spend a few weeks tooling around Jolly Old England and Europe.
Heck – I could even pay for the whole adventure while I was there. Maybe drop in on Drayton Bird in London and talk him into doing a two-day event with me for our limey friends.
Or swing by my pal Norman Rentrop’s HQ in Bonn and give that workshop his people have been trying to get me to do for ages.
Better yet, I could make a beeline to Stuttgart and pick up that new Porsche GT2 I’ve been Jonesing for. There are only 165 allotments in the US and all of them are long gone. But not only could I buy my next supercar in Germany; taking delivery there would save me tens of thousands AND I could crank up a little Wagner while putting my new baby through her paces out on the Autobahn and the Nuerburgring.
“No way,” says The Redhead. “Remember you have BIG PLANS (which I’ll tell you about in a few weeks) for our subscribers this summer. There’s no way we can get away.”
I hate it when she’s right. And I hate it even more when that means a huge opportunity to make major memories will be missed. Needless to say, I was NOT a happy biker.
Then, later in the week, another great money-making opportunity presented itself. A huge company asked permission to give me ten percent of sales if I’d partner with them. In our first year, my agency ResponseInk would bank ten million or more.
“No way,” says The Redhead. “Our staff (now 19 employees and still growing) is stretched too thin. If we take on another client now, there’s no way we’ll be able to do everything we have planned for The Total Package.”
Curses. Foiled again! No terrorizing the gentry in England and Europe on our Harleys. No screaming down the Autobahn in a new GT2. No new multi-million-dollar payday.
All because we’ve made the commitment to help our readers explode their businesses and careers in The Total Package.
Oh well … at least we can console ourselves with the knowledge that we’re helping good people – people who appreciate our commitment to their success.
At least I can take some satisfaction in that … right?
Fast forward to this morning:
Googling myself … finding 199,999 positive listings
about The Total Package – and one crappy one …
So this morning, I Googled myself to see what kind of scuttlebutt we’re getting on the web these days. That always cheers me up.
Now don’t get me wrong – the vast majority of the hundreds of thousands of websites that mention us say only good things.
But in one of them – just one – I found a site owner who’s bitching about the fact that we offer products FOR SALE!
Now, this person said nothing about the more than 400 articles that we offer in our archives – thousands upon thousands of pages packed with business-building, career-building, response-building insights and advice – all for free.
… Or that we bring you the best response-boosting and money-making ideas, advice and insights from legendary pros like Drayton Bird, Gary Bencivenga, Bob Bly, Yanik Silver, Michael Masterson and many others – all for free.
… Or that we bring you tons of extra ways to intensify and broaden your understanding of direct marketing with fantastic articles about what’s working now by working pros like Daniel Levis, Troy White, Julie McManus, Tony Flores, MaryEllen Tribby, Carline Anglade-Cole, Wendy Montes de Oca, Pat Coffey and others – all for free.
… Or that we’ve also gone to the trouble to create a comprehensive direct response glossary and other online tools you can use anytime – all for free.
… Or that we spend a not-so-small fortune to pay the wonderful employees – administrators, web designers and subscriber services people to bring all of this to you – all for free.
… Or that our readers have sent us nearly 2,000 unsolicited letters thanking us for all of this and saying how much money we’ve added to their income – all for free.
… Or that neither Wendy nor I or anyone else in my family has ever taken a single solitary penny in return for all this – or that every dime earned through the sale of our products is re-invested to help more marketers grow their businesses – all for free.
No, this bitter, angry old gasbag has her panties in a knot because we also offer a handful of products for sale.
Now I’m not sure; but I can only assume that this holier-than-thou blogger gives away her work product for free – and then panhandles on street corners for change needed to stuff Big Macs into her gaping pie hole.
Otherwise, she is worse than just a harmless idiot. She’s also a brazen hypocrite.
But such is the Web. A place where millions of deadbeats have come to believe that they are entitled to benefit from the fruit of others’ labors for free. And most amusing, a place where charlatans posing as marketers can deride good people who overdeliver and undercharge for great products online.
Now, I’d like to be able say this is the very first time
anyone has said anything this stupid to us or about us.
Unfortunately, it is not.
The fact that we spend a bunch of time, skull sweat and money to create in-depth educational products for our readers – and then have the effrontery to ask a fair price for them – has offended other readers over the years.
Heck: I even included a passage for these folks in our “Welcome Aboard” letter – and I quote:
“… Every once-in-a-while, some yahoo is insulted that we have the unmitigated gall to ask for money in return for a service rendered or a product delivered.
“They’re shocked – SHOCKED, I tell you – that we would dare to advertise and market a product in an e-letter on advertising and marketing(!).
“My advice to these guys? “If you think it’s wrong to ask for money in return for bringing tremendous value to people … if you think advertising is evil … there is a very good chance that you could be … IN THE WRONG BUSINESS!
“’Nevertheless,’” I continue, ‘you can still enjoy The Total Package™ without getting your panties in a knot: Just resolve not to think of our ads as ads!
“’Pretend they’re like a swipe file: Real-world samples of some pretty darned effective sales copy by a top writer that you get for FREE – in addition to your free subscription!’”
“There.” I said, having written the passage above, “That should allow any spoiled-rotten, world-owes-me-a-living bum, mooch or deadbeat … any schizophrenic, conflicted, muddle-minded airhead who holds himself out as a marketer but who inwardly despises marketing … any commie bastard who believes it’s our duty to sweat, strain and spend our money to help them.
“Now even those morons can enjoy The Total Package – just by pretending our promos are just free additions to their swipe files.”
Evidently, it hasn’t worked as well as I’d hoped.
So is there a point in all this? A lesson to be learned?
Sure. Three, in fact.
First, if you’re going to do anything with your life, you need to know right up front that you will have critics.
Scratch that. First, you’ll have doubters. Friends, family, even spouses who can’t dream as big as you can. Hopefully, they’ll love you enough to support you anyway.
But then, as you actually begin to succeed, a jealous and insecure few will attempt to reduce you through criticism. Because the bigger you get, the smaller they feel. And of course, the more successful you are, the more critics you’re likely to get.
A few weeks back, a presidential candidate was heard to say, “You know you’re over the target when you begin taking flak.” When losers criticize you, consider it a badge of honor.
Second, examine your core beliefs. You’d be surprised at how many people who inwardly hate marketing have chosen to become marketers simply because they believe it’s a good way to make money.
The best marketers are those who rejoice every time a well-done promotion hits their mailbox or inbox … who study it carefully for the thoughts behind the thoughts and for the nuances that make the difference between merely great copy and truly excellent copy.
As the great Bob King is famous for saying, marketing should be the art and science of bringing value to consumers’ lives at a price that is insignificant relative to that value.
If the products you promote do that, you are doing mankind a favor. Any core belief that prevents you from feeling good about improving your prospects’ lot in life should be unceremoniously discarded.
Of course, if you don’t honestly believe the products you’re promoting provide tremendous value, you’ll be a much happier and much more fulfilled person if you’ll find another product that does.
And if you’re promoting great products and still despise what you do, please – for Buddha’s sake – find another career! No amount of money in the world is worth loathing yourself for earning it.
Third, everything in life – including a free subscription to The Total Package – is a transaction. There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch. Or as Robert Heinlein was wont to say, “TANSTAAFL.” Or, as the Apostle Paul famously wrote, “”You shall not muzzle the ox while he is threshing,” and “The laborer is worthy of his wages.”
Never, never, NEVER hesitate to require compensation that’s commensurate with the value you’re bringing to your clients.
Now, I’m thinking a few e-mails now and then that offer a high-value product at a reasonable price is a small price to pay for the value we provide every day in The Total Package.
What say you?
Yours for Bigger Winners, More Often,
Clayton Makepeace
Publisher & Editor
THE TOTAL PACKAGE™
Let us know what you think. Or offer your own sage advice.
The only rule: RESPECT THIS HOUSE! Postings that contain abusive language and/or personal attacks will be cheerfully VAPORIZED. One cross word and – POOF! – your well-thought-out post will be gone in a puff of smoke.
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